


I'm Sorry

by Really_Lame_Fiction



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: I wrote this around the middle of season 11, M/M, Sad but also fluff, Season 11, almost could be called angst but I wouldn't go that fr, churboose - Freeform, far
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-01
Updated: 2014-03-01
Packaged: 2018-01-14 04:25:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1252765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Really_Lame_Fiction/pseuds/Really_Lame_Fiction
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Church finally comes back, he's not greeted like he imagined. Wash is protective, and Caboose is upset.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Sorry

It was dark and cold in the make-shift blue base. Wash and Tucker were both sound asleep in their separate rooms, and no sound could be heard except for the wind blowing gently outside. Two moons shone brightly outside, illuminating the canyon in a soft glow. 

Caboose sat up from his bed, his usually bright face turned down in grimace. He got up, pulling on a white t-shirt and a pair of grey tracksuit pants over his bright blue boxers. Walking out of his room, he dragged his feet down the short hallway and out of the base. He shivered lightly, walking the empty area aimlessly. 

Caboose had someone on his mind.

He had been outside walking for almost an hour when he suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned in surprise, a mix of shock and hope rushing through him as laid his blue eyes on….

Wash. 

Caboose tried not to look disappointed.

“Caboose, what are you doing out here?” 

Caboose frowned, eyes downcast. He curled his toes in the grass and considered pretending like he couldn’t see or hear the older man.

“….Nothing.”

He murmured, walking past Wash and back to the base, never looking up. He didn’t want to talk to Wash. Wash reminded him of Church. So without another word, Caboose sulked back to the base, back to his room and back to his bed, where he then tried his best to go back to sleep. 

Wash sighed, running a hand through his blond hair that was starting to grey around the roots from a mix of age and stress. A shadow came out from behind a tree and approached him from behind. 

“I wanted to talk to him.” The voice said gruffly. It was a strong voice, but sounded almost broken. 

“Well I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Wash replied, turning to see the tired eyes that belonged to non-other than Leonard Church. He stood tall, looking not at all amused. It had been awhile since he ran off with Carolina, and Wash was foggy on the details as to why he was back but he had an idea as to why the sudden re-appearance. 

“I need to talk to him.” Church rephrased, his body standing just a little bit straighter then before, raising his chin. His eyes glared darkly at Wash, daring him to deny him what he wanted. 

“No.”

Church strode quickly forward, grabbing the slightly shorter man by the front of his shirt. Wash didn’t flinch.

“It wasn’t a question.” Church growled, both men glaring sternly at one another. Wash was the one to break the contact, closing his eyes and letting out a deep sigh. He took a step back out of Church’s grip.

“You left him.”

“I had too.” Church shot back his reply defensively, balling his hands into fists. He snarled, watching Washington stand so casually in front of him. 

“It doesn’t matter what your reason was. You left him. You left the both of them. You were their superior and you abandoned them!” Even as Wash’s voice rose towards the end of his speech, he showed no visible anger. He wore a stern face of indifference as he talked to Church.  
“I wasn’t really their superior! Our Sargent died and I just happened to be there.” Church’s voice was slowly loosing its authority, and he was finding it harder and harder to defend himself under Wash’s knowing glaze.

“Of course you were their superior! After you left Tucker became even more lazy and rebellious. Sure he would spit insults constantly, but in the end he always ended up doing what YOU ordered! And Caboose? Don’t even get me started on his mental state after left.  
Before you left, though, that kid took all your abuse and was STILL willing to follow you to the end of the universe! So yeah you were a fucking shit leader, but you were THEIR fucking shit leader.”  
Wash stood almost nose to nose with Church, anger clear in his round, brown eyes.

“So if you want to talk to Caboose, fine. I’m sure he’ll bounce straight back to being madly in love with you and forget all the misery you put him through, but you’ll do this again. And again. And again. And one day, he won’t bounce back.”

The two men stood staring at each other silently for a long, pregnant pause. Church felt anger course through his veins, and he told himself it was directed at Wash. But a tiny voice in the back of his head (that Church would later recognise to sound almost like Delta) whispered that he was only angry at himself.

Angry at himself for leaving Tucker, angry at himself for leaving Caboose, angry at himself for missing familiar faces (even the Reds, much to his own horror) and angry at himself for coming back.  
He turned, walking slowly towards blue base. Not speaking a word to the ex-freelancer. 

“Don’t dare hurt him again.” He heard Wash whisper behind him, but he chose to block it out. 

Church walked quietly through the unknown base, trying his hardest to find Caboose’s room. He had searched for almost 15 minuted before finally stumbling into where Caboose lay sleeping. He crept over, his hand going to nudge Caboose’s shoulder. But he paused.

His eyes widened when he took in Caboose’s current appearance. He was paler than he remembered, and he had seemed to have lost a noticeable amount of weight. His usually bright eyes were carrying dark bags. Church tried not to notice how wet Caboose’s cheeks were, and the tear stains on the pillow he was sleeping on. 

His hand retracted like it had been burnt, and he fell back onto the ground. He watched Caboose’s gentle breathing, his own breath hitched in his throat. He truly didn’t believe his disappearance would affect the boy so much. 

Or maybe he just told himself that to ease the guilt.  
He wished he wasn’t the cause of those tears. He wished the cause was some asshole that he could beat up for messing who his subordinate. But it wasn’t. It was him. 

‘I guess it WAS some asshole…..’

He smiled bitterly. 

Church wanted to reach out to Caboose so badly it ached. But he couldn’t, he couldn’t because of the amount of guilt that he didn’t even know he was harboring.

“…..Church?” A weak, cracked voice brought him violently out of his own thoughts and his full attention was now on Caboose, who was staring groggily at him with his bright blue eyes that seemed as full as the sky itself. 

Suddenly Caboose squeezed his eyes shut, which made Church realize just how much he missed them. The blond man covered his ears with both hands, making a strange strangled sound before beginning to cry. 

“N-no….NO! You are not Church! Church is gone!” Caboose began sobbing, trying his hardest to mumble words of reassurance to himself. 

“I am seeing things. Church is not really here.”

Church stood up, not able to watch Caboose like that any longer he crawled onto the bed and cupped his hands behind Caboose’s neck, using his thumbs to massage him gently just behind and under the ear, “Shhh, Caboose. It’s me! It’s me, Church! Open your eyes!” ‘Your beautiful eyes…..’

Caboose stopped crying and slowly opened his eyes, gasping quietly when he was met with two dark orbs that could only belong to one person. He stared silently before quietly murmuring out his name.

“C-Church?” It was barely a whisper, but the emotion Church felt in the word was almost enough to knock him back and off his feet again.

“Yeah buddy, I’m back and I’m so sorry.” Church could see so many different emotions flash through Caboose’s eyes, and he smiled gently when he thought about how brightly Caboose’s face was about to light up, and he was going to see that smile he had missed for so long.

But Caboose never did. He didn’t smile that bright smile and he didn’t start babbling nonsense happily.

His lips tugged down and he threw himself into Church, his arms wrapping around the taller man tightly. Caboose sobbed into Church’s neck, his entire body shaking violently. 

Church sat in shock, before wrapping his own arms around the slightly younger man. He ran his hands through his sandy blond hair, whispering words of reassurance in his ear. They sat on the bed for a long time, before Caboose’s sobs died down to nothing and before Church even realized it the boy had fallen asleep.

He laid Caboose down on to the bed and turned to get up, but when he glanced back at Caboose one last time he couldn’t bring himself to leave. Church crawled in under the blankets with Caboose and the blond man wiggled closer. Church wrapped his arms around Caboose almost protectively. He nuzzled his nose into Caboose’s mess of hair.

It was nice.

Church frowned suddenly, Washington’s words echoing in his head.  
Maybe it was selfish of him to be in Caboose’s life after leaving him. Maybe it was selfish before that, too. 

“I’m so sorry, Michael.”


End file.
